Transcript for The NoNap Podcast

ANNOUNCER

DISCLAIMER – This podcast is intended to slightly frighten and entertain children with Halloween and horror themed stories. It is advised that guardians review the story content prior to allowing their small children to listen. For ease, a detailed story synopsis, with spoilers, is written in each episode’s show notes and a suggested age range is included in the title of each episode.

Intro music begins.

NANNY CADAVRA

For the twilight hours

tales of wholesome creeps

and adorable chills

as the Halloween night arrives

Embrace your loves

and prepare

For this evening, there shall be

No Nap

INTRO MUSIC SWELLS AND COMPLETES

WE HEAR NOTHING BUT A SLIGHT BREEZE…AN EMPTY ROOM…A VOID. THEN HIGH HEELED FOOTSTEPS APPROACH. A LARGE, HEAVY BAG IS DROPPED. A CHAIR SCREECHES AS IT’S PULLED OVER AND SOMEONE SITS. WE CAN HEAR THE RUSTLING OF HER DRESS FABRIC.

NANNY CADAVRA

[clears throat politely]

I trust that you’ve noticed that this isn’t going to be a normal evening. This year has turned out to be quite interesting, indeed. Yet the calendar does not lie and time continues to tick tick tick!

All Hallow’s Eve has arrived and that means it is the night on which departed souls, like myself, may roam free.

Usually people, like yourselves, do their part to keep the spirits in line by dressing up in costumes as scary monsters, beautiful humans or fantastic beasts which confuses the spirits just enough so that they return safely to their own homes.

This year many of you are unable to do the important task of ghost spooking so I must ask for your help in another way!

If you listen closely to even the slightest of gross or ghastly tales it will attract these loose Halloween spirits! I specifically need assistance with my …

Oh for heaven’s sake, I haven’t even introduced myself yet. Let me back up just a smidge.

My name is Corpcelia Cadavra and I am, what you might call, a nanny. A caretaker for the youngest and silliest of souls.

And that is who I need your help with – keeping the attention of my wards so that they don’t get lost this evening. Then when the sun rises, I can take them all home with me – safe and sound.

Each of them has a favorite story and I keep it safely locked away in one of my sweets or treats that I keep in my sack just here. I pull something special out of my bag, release the story and if we listen closely together… my little lost litter will hear it too and slip closer and closer to us until I can embrace them, kiss them on their tiny cheeks and foreheads and lead them home at dawn.

I do so hope you’ll help me. Are you ready, then, to begin?

Oh..I’m afraid I couldn’t hear you. Could you just speak up a little louder? Are you ready to hear the tale of one of my sweets?

Oh thank you! That was wonderful! Excellent! Let’s pick out something from the sack and unwrap our first tale.

NANNY CADAVRA

Look, it’s a little orange Jack O’Lantern. Take off its pumpkin lid and inside we’ll find the favorite story of a teeny ghost girl named Stevie. It’s about another little friend, Patch, from a haunted churchyard who is, like so many of us, afraid of the dark. Who can blame her? Things seem scarier when you don’t know what you’re up against. S.H. Cooper’s tale is performed by Sarah Ruth Thomas, Camber Stitches and David Ault and expertly designed for us by Kristina Manente with music by ()? Even though it’s getting darker outside don’t let that scare you into forgetting THE TINY PUMPKIN.

[Link to story text: https://authorshcooper.com/2018/09/24/the-tiny-pumpkin-a-childrens-story/]

NANNY CADAVRA

I’ve pulled out a treat that appears to be… a plastic raven. I wonder if this one will appeal to a little soul named Jack. I know he likes animals. Let’s try it out. The story attached to this bird belongs to my dear friend Eddie Poe but the author Micah Edwards is going to tell it to you with the help of actor Owen McCuen and the sound stylings of Kathyrn Stanley. You best sit down, duck your head and don’t fly away because I HEARD A BIRD.

Link to purchase I HEARD A BIRD: https://www.amazon.com/Heard-Bird-Lil-Eddie-Book-ebook/dp/B07CSL5KZ9

NANNY CADAVRA

From my bag I’ve plucked out a very special Halloween mask. It looks just like the face of my dearly departed Aunalise and it’s made with her favorite colors. Oh wonderful! It fits! Oh…oh my word – I can see new things through the eyes. But of course I can because this isn’t just any mask, it’s one made from magical fabrics and materials by four young heroes, as Immanuel Burney tells us, with the help of Sarah Golding, Misty Brooke, Erika Sanderson, Tal Minear and Sam Cavalcanti and an atmosphere created by Erin Lillis. This tale was stitched, glued and crafted together on THE MAGICAL HALLOWEEN NIGHT.

[Link to story text: http://www.erinlillis.com/magicalhalloweennight/]

NANNY CADAVRA

You might be surprised at what my bag can hold but its material isn’t one you’re familiar with. It’s a little of this and a little of that, eye of newt and tail of rat and in the end, it’s capable of containing more than you might think. That’s why I can now pull out this entire witch’s cauldron! In case you don’t know, a cauldron is basically a big pot and in it you can make potions and spells… and sometimes it’s excellent for soups and stews. My little soul-friend Morgan just loves soups and stews and that’s why this story is her favorite. Author Manen Lyset tells us that this particular cauldron was used for a special mixture involving the donations of everyone in town. This story is performed by Erin Lillis with a soundscape crafted by Anna Rodriguez (and music by). Now don’t stand too close or you might be in the splash zone of THE WITCHES’ BREW.

[TEXT OF STORY UNAVAILABLE]

NANNY CADAVRA

Out of my bag I have pulled a butterscotch hard candy – a favorite of grandpas across the globe. I have a little friend named Jason that loves his Pop Pop and also likes to sneak out of his room at night when I’m asleep. Silly Jason! What he doesn’t know is that I never sleep.  Let’s unwrap this treat to get Jason’s attention with a story about grandpas and scary things that go click-click-click in the night. Karl Melton brings us this story, performed by Uri Sacharow, David Cummings and Nichole Goodnight with a soundscape crafted by Anna Rodriguez (and music by).  Be careful when you slip out of your room at night because you might just see a SHADOW ON THE SOFA.

[“Shadow on the Sofa” is featured in the kids’ horror anthology “Mother Ghost’s GRIMM Volume 2.”]

NANNY CADAVRA

Whether you’re a vampire, ghost or mummy

I’ll give you a chocolate, a lolli or gummy

Gobble them quick! Aren’t they yummy?

But eat them too fast and you’ll hurt your tummy!

Hahahaha… I wrote a little rhyme for you listeners – all about eating.

Oh but do you know the origin of Trick or Treating?

Here’s a fun fact, this tale involves me,

Nanny Cadavra, and my bag full of sweets.

Written by Meredith Morgenstern, performed by Nichole Goodnight with sound sculpting by Kristina Manente.

Listen up to hear how I once left my mark in THE TOWN WITHOUT CANDY.

[TEXT OF STORY UNAVAILABLE]

NANNY CADAVRA

Two little spirits, Adam and Alec, are coming closer to us. I can feel them. Can you? Let’s draw them in closer still with a favorite story of theirs. From my bag of delights I’ve plucked two shiny candy apples. One dipped in chocolate and the other caramel but… be careful. They may look delicious but one bite may reveal that these two treats are actually tricks! Author N.M. Brown and performers Dan and Jen Zappulla, two special kiddos and sound design by Kathryn Stanley, weave for us a tale of two young friends, Allen and Ricky, who bite into more than they can chew. Guess they should have paid THE PARENT TAX.

[TEXT OF STORY UNAVAILABLE]

NANNY CADAVRA

My little sweet Ellie is tip toeing closer to our story circle. Come here my little friend? It’s OK… here’s my hand… Oh no, she’s run off again. I know what will bring her here. In my magic sack, I have a beautiful soft blanket, embroidered with yellow daisies and the softest of fringes. It’s oh so comfortable and it smells fresh and clean. It reminds me of another blanket and another wee one. Author Marcus Damanda wrote this story and it’s performed by Dez – duh – moan – uh , Erin Lillis, Graham Rowat and it’s been all put together for us by [Kathryn Stanley?]. I know sometimes life can seem a little unfair but maybe all you need is a friend like RALPH.

[TEXT OF STORY UNAVAILABLE]

NANNY CADAVRA

Can you see my silly little friends? Oh I remember now that this is an AUDIO show but I think SOME OF YOU might be able to see a little more than the adults around you. You might have 1..2…3…4..5.. SIX senses. Just like the boy called Ellis that is creeping now in the shadows at the corner of your vision. When he was in the mortal plane, he could see spirits. Now he’s one of them. I know a perfect story to entice him to come closer and it’s attached to this little inflatable toy ghost from my bag. Author Elizabeth Davis wrote this piece and it is performed by Dave McKee and Erica Sanderson and designed for your hearing sense by Seng Phengdouangdeth. If you’ll open your eyes just a little wider you might see THE HALLOWEEN FRIEND.

[TEXT OF STORY UNAVAILABLE]

NANNY CADAVRA

There once was a little boy named Aidan that wanted to be a chef when he grew up! He loved to mix batters, stir sauces, help his Mom set the table and, of course, lick the cookie dough off of the spoon. I bet we can get his attention with a story about a special kitchen witch named Grandma McCutchin. In my hand now is one of her famous animal cookies. It smells so good, doesn’t it? Oh! I do so wish I could send some smells your way just this once. Anyhow, author K.M. Bennett has their tale performed by David S. Dear, Danielle McRae, J.V. Hampton-VanSant, Tal Minear and Alexis Bristowe. The sound was cooked up and mixed together by Chris Burke. I don’t know what your favorite cookie flavor is but mine is PUMPKIN AND… SPICE.

[TEXT OF STORY UNAVAILABLE]

NANNY CADAVRA

Oh Ethan… I see you at the fringes. Did you find your way back to us tonight? I bet you had fun roaming around but it’s getting later and I don’t want you to drift too far away! How about a scary tale to capture your attention? I have one in my bag just for you. (OK listeners … Ethan appreciates stories with a bit of silly grossness so don’t be alarmed. In fact, play along!) Let’s unwrap this special candy that may or may not make you burp when you eat it. Jennifer Winters wrote this story about a pair of cousins and a pair of imaginary friends. It’s performed by Peter Lewis, Celina Mauti and Erin Lillis and soundscaped by Erin Lillis. If you listen and believe hard enough… you might just meet BLOODY MARY AND BLOODY MARVIN.

[“Bloody Mary and Bloody Marvin” is featured in the kids’ horror anthology “Mother Ghost’s GRIMM Volume 1.“]

NANNY CADAVRA

My little ghostie girl, Sophia, has a bit of a green thumb. No, I don’t mean that she’s literally green… I mean that she loves gardening and being in nature. Whenever she gets the chance to skip about in the land of the living she immediately heads to the woodlands and parks. But now we’ve got to reign her in so I have an idea… this little seedling from my bag comes from a special forest and dripping from its bark is a sticky story she will like. It’s written by Scott Savino, performed by Elie Hirschman and carved out of sound by RCBG Editing. This tale is for Sophia but keep back because everyone else should AVOID THE MAPLE WOODS.

[“Avoid the Maple Woods” is featured in the kids’ horror anthology “Mother Ghost’s GRIMM Volume 1“]

NANNY CADAVRA

I don’t just watch after children, you know. I’m the caretaker of some of the youngest and SILLIEST of souls, as I think I mentioned. That includes adults who enjoy whimsy and fun and yes, even some animals. Like my friend Luna who ran off to frolic in the park tonight. I know she’s back because I can hear her trying to dig up her old bones  just outside. I know just the bait to get her inside. This… is her favorite ball. I wish you could see it because it glows in the dark! It looks so much like the real moon and.. it bounces! It’s tied to a young woman who my dear friend Erin Lillis tells us about. A girl that one day ran over, frightened, to say, THE MOON IS FOLLOWING ME!

[Link to story text: http://www.erinlillis.com/themoonisfollowingme/]

NANNY CADAVRA

Ryan and Evan are a couple of troublemakers. It’s not that they’re bad boys… it’s just that they’re the oldest in my litter of souls and they like to push the boundaries. They pushed them so far last Halloween that they almost reincarnated! Well I wouldn’t stop them if they tried again but I don’t know if they’re quite ready for that. Let’s try to lure them back tonight with a short tale of other precocious phantoms that like to pretend they’re alive for even just one night. Charlie Davenport brings us this verse as performed by Uri Sacharow, Owen McCuen,  David McKee and a couple of awesome kiddos. The sound is expertly pieced together by Kristina Manente. Watch out for but enjoy those creepy kids that call themselves THE COUSINS.

[TEXT OF STORY UNAVAILABLE]

NANNY CADAVRA

Well almost all of my little tribe has been gathered back now thanks to you, listeners! I must say you’ve all done a tremendously excellent job at helping me wrap my brood up into the misty folds of my embrace. And I’ve so loved meeting you all! You’re so wonderfully generous with your time!

Now will you give me just a pinch more of it? I have three little stragglers that I’m worried will be late. We must get them back before the sun rises or else they’ll be trapped out there for one whole year! These three, Diego, David and Victoria, went off together and I think they were trying to escape! Imagine that. They must have thought they were just too mature to hang out with the rest of our family. How absurd… maturity is nothing to aspire to. Three little sour sweets from my sack are bundled together with a tale by author John Harrison. It is performed by David Ault, Erica Sanderson, Elie Hirschman, Matthew Bradford, Danielle McRae and Erin Lillis. This story explains why it’s best to stay where it’s safest and in this case, that is at THE PARTY.

[TEXT OF STORY UNAVAILABLE]

NANNY CADAVRA

That’s it, my newest of friends! I’ve got them all

Shuffling sounds and mumbles from the group of spirits can be heard. It’s now a waiting room of ghosts and animals.

NANNY CADAVRA

And just in time too. I can see our spirit portal starting to open back up!

Go ahead my loves… go towards the light. I’ll be right behind you.

Sounds of shuffling…giggling… whooshing sounds as they get vacuumed through the portal.

NANNY CADAVRA

Again listeners, you were amazing. But you must be tired and maybe a bit cranky without that nap! I bet you’ll sleep so soundly tonight… if my stories haven’t frightened you too too much.

Oh and one fun fact, I’ve left you all a treat from my sack.

You won’t know which one it is or where you’ll discover it but you’ll know it when you do because a spooky or creepy story will come to your mind. Write it down, draw it or craft it for me when you find it. Then put it under your pillow and I’ll collect it from your dreams.

Now I must be off.

Chair squeaks as Nanny stands. She hefts the sack up and something falls out.  A gremlin giggles and scurries away.

NANNY CADAVRA

Oh! Hahaha… when did you sneak in there? Scoot out of my way, I’ve got places to be.

The gremlin scurries off. Nanny walks towards portal.  Turns back to audience to say…

NANNY CADAVRA

Pleasant Nap-mares.

She whooshes out. The gremlin scurries closer to mic and then from ear to ear immersive 3D style.

Closing Music begins.

THE END